When women are trying to get pregnant, there is a mountain of information on what to eat, how to eat and what supplements to take to prepare the body for pregnancy, but what about support for the mind?
Women all around the world, who are trying to conceive, know exactly what to eat and how to look after their body. In fact, they have mastered it, in the hope that they have done absolutely everything they can to increase their chances.
However, many find themselves feeling isolated and emotionally anxious because they just can’t understand why they cannot get pregnant, when their friends are.
It’s easy for others to say ‘it will happen when you forget about it’ and I always say that is a big feat to someone who is desperate to be a parent. I find it can also be insulting too.
I know myself, after trying to conceive in my 40’s, the boom doom gloom the IVF doctors kept banging on about. It could have been devastating if I believed them, but keeping myself sane and trusting in my own body and mind, stopped me from absorbing all this negativity.
That is why I specialise in fertility and helping you with a fertile mind – because I get it! I walk my talk and know that during this challenging time you need as much emotional support as possible to keep you strong!
The mind manages the bodily functions without much conscious awareness. When women feel anxious and fearful about life, the bloodstream goes first, to the important organs such as heart and lungs, in preparation for something we may need to run from. And guess where it goes to last? The womb. Why? It’s a very primitive mechanism that the brain implements when there is a presumed unhealthy environment to conceive. You could liken this to when an animal knows that a drought is about to occur. It has been proven that the animal’s reproductive system shuts down so the female species can try and survive without trying to look after little ones.
Human beings have the same instinctive receptors, so if a woman is worried about getting pregnant she maybe emotionally unconsciously restricting her chances. One could argue then, why are babies born in emotionally abusive situations and yes, I would agree. But why not make the chances of pregnancy even better by looking after the emotional aspect too – not just the body.
It doesn’t matter the history of or the issues with fertility, that is the past. However, this is part of the problem. When someone is trying to get pregnant, the mind can use the fertility history or unhelpful evidence to suggest that it might not or will not happen!
Nobody knows the future so when these unhelpful references are there, it’s no surprise women can become fearful about their ability to get pregnant and self doubt can creep in.
However, the mind can learn to prepare for the future by creating healthier references that reflect outcomes that have nothing to do with past fertility issues.
In other words, the history of fertility moments cannot forecast the future. The good news is, with particular mind tools training, women trying to conceive, whether naturally or with medical intervention, can start to shift their thinking into a healthier and more optimistic state.
I am not suggesting for one moment that going through IVF will be a breeze but what I am suggesting is a little bit of hope, trust and seeing the future positively will help calm the mind, which then calms the body. It’s a win/win situation.
So you may be asking now if I did get pregnant? The answer yes, I have triplet boys Ollie, Finn and Hugh now 3 years of age. The doctor’s didn’t believe I could do it but I did! Having a fertile mind helps.